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HUMOR
How to Be Unhappy — a Beginner’s Guide
Follow these 10 simple steps
(I penned this down 10 years ago. I rediscovered it today and was shocked how accurate it was and what a sad soul I must have been back then…)
#1 Be seriously concerned about what other people think of you. Try to meet everyone’s expectations before meeting yours.
#2 Aim to please everyone and then expect genuine gratefulness from them.
#3 Be a perfectionist. Only by learning that you cannot reach your own standards, you will find true unhappiness.
#4 Justify yourself. Everyone has a right to scrutinize your behavior and request answers from you. Do by no means refuse cooperation.
#5 Being unhappy becomes slightly easier if you do not accept good things that happen to you and regard them as mere chance instead.
#6 Make a list of things you failed at so you will never forget them. Always take a quick look at your notes if you are starting to feel happy — an unbearable state of mind that must be interrupted immediately.
#7 Look at yourself in the mirror and realize that those unfortunately do not come with photo-shop yet.
