Thank you for sharing this insight into your culture and upbringing. I feel that this is not only an issue in Asian families, but maybe it’s a lot more obvious this this cultural context.
I, too, feel that at least my mother lived through me. When she talked about me to other people it would never really be about me as a person, but always about my looks, my accomplishments, my talents. I only realized years later that this unhealthy behavior substantially contributed to my mental health issues.
Thank you for raising awareness, this is an important topic and not discussed enough.