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DARK HUMOR
The Unbelievable Pet Chronicles
My strangely absurd career as a pet owner
Alright now, before you call Animal Services — all of this happened a while ago and also entirely by accident. Most of it was tragic, some of it was outright dumb but all of this combined was just so wildly improbable that it has to be told. Almost none of my pets have died of old age and I simply don’t know why. It’s reason enough, however, to never ever get a pet again. I’m either not very good at this or just not meant to own pets. You may decide for yourself.
(Although I LOVE animals. If I wasn’t careful I would probably end up cohabitating with a gigantic cat family like the lunatic lady from The Simpsons).
Charlie and Dotty
Charlie and Dotty were two dwarf rabbits and my first ever pets. Charlie was black and Dotty was, well, dotted (I was one hell of a creative kid). I must have been five or six years old at the time I got them and I was so tremendously proud to be a pet mommy.
I remember that those two rabbits were extremely neurotic and hated me (I don’t think that I handled both of them with the care and gentleness they would have deserved, but then again — I was a kid) but that did not deter me from loving them to pieces.
